Cincinnati, our new dream....

It's been such a long road, I sometimes look back at life just a few months ago, hanging with Iguchi and Marcus, starting the garden, our new life in Broomfield. The excitement of finally getting to work every day with my best friend Greg, and laughing, just laughing all the time.

 Now, laughter is hard to come by. I try to keep my spirits up for this little girl, but anyone that knows me, knows exactly how moody I can be. I've learned that leaving the hospital once a day, and taking a long bath does wonders for my state of mind. Solstice goes from being happy and upbeat to crying about how certain she is she is going to die.

She had a recent trauma that has added to the mental state, something so horrible that I can't even allow myself to write it down, nor would I without her permission. But someone is in Jail, and we are now dealing not only with a very very sick child, but one that is emotionally wrung. She wakes up in night terrors screaming, and the anti anxiety meds they are giving her are making her a bit crazy. She goes from asking them to reduce meds to screaming HELP, HELP, I'm DYING. As of now, I have asked them to remove them from her med list. That kid can hit the nurse button so quick, I don't even see it happen.

 We are St. Lukes/ Rocky Mountain Children's Hospital currently, and I feel much more comfortable here. I always wondered at Children's why they didn't have a place for parents to get away, a room where we could chill, and chat with one another, try to keep each other sane. I think I know the answer, they wanted us separated so we couldn't compare notes. This place has such a room, where parents can go to take a deep breath, talk with other adults, know they aren't the only ones trapped in this horrible place.

 I will let you know that we were found not-guilty or as they call it "unfounded" with Social Services, I'm certain that all of your words helped. Thank you so much for that.

 I have been told by many doctors now that my only option is to take her out of state and find a specialist. Her case is so severe, and since the only specialist the in the area, Dr. Charles Kirpatrick picks his patients, and no matter how hard I've tried... I haven't been able to get her into him. Our only option is to head out of state to either John Hopkins or a Dr in Cincinnati that was referred to me by Dr. Borg, from Germany who is considered the Godfather of HAE. I need your help. I started a fundraiser just a day or so ago. I know many of my friends are not in a financial position to help, and that's okay, I understand. But if you can afford to give something, please do. I'm not being dramatic when I say it might mean the difference between her life and death.